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2:05 PM ET, May 13, 2011

WeSmirch

 Top News: 
Hollywood Reporter:
SOURCES CONFIRM: Ashton Kutcher Will Join ‘Two and a Half Men’ … Ashton Kutcher appears to have won the Two and a Half Men sweepstakes.  —  Two sources close to the deal-making tell The Hollywood Reporter that the actor is putting the final touches on a deal to replace Charlie Sheen as the star of TV's No. 1 comedy.
RELATED:
TMZ.com:
‘Men’ a Go — Ashton To Make Way Less than Charlie  —  Ashton Kutcher has officially signed on to “Two and a Half Men” ... and TMZ has learned he'll be making more than half of Charlie Sheen's base salary ... but less than $900,000 an episode.  —  Sources tell TMZ, Charlie's base pay on the show was $1.25 million an episode.
Wall Street Journal:
Actor Ashton Kutcher Close to Signing to Star in ‘Two and a Half Men’
Discussion: Us Weekly, Hollywood.com and Inside TV
New York Post:
Baby due for Mike & Kelly  —  “Austin Powers” funnyman Mike Myers is to become a dad for the first time at age 47.  His new wife, Kelly Tisdale, is expecting and in her second trimester, Page Six has learned.  Tisdale, a co-founder of Lower East Side hipster cafe Teany …
RELATED:
omg!:
Mike Myers, Kelly Tisdale Expecting First Child  —  At the age of 47, Austin Powers actor Mike Myers is about to become a first-time father.  —  PHOTOS: Who else is expecting in Hollywood?  —  The actor's wife, Kelly Tisdale, is currently in her second trimester.
Discussion: TMZ.com, Digital Spy and Perez Hilton
Lynette Rice / Inside TV:
NBC rejects ‘Wonder Woman’  —  Well that was fun (to make fun of) while it lasted.  EW has learned that NBC passed on the much buzzed-about Wonder Woman pilot from David E. Kelley and Warner Bros. TV.  —  Kelley had penned a script that updated the comic book classic to have Diana Prince …
RELATED:
Hollywood Reporter:
NBC Adds to Series Orders With ‘Awake,’ ‘Playboy,’ ‘Grimm’; Rejects ‘Wonder Woman,’ 'A Mann's World,' More … As NBC's upfront fast approaches, the network continues a buying spree that began Wednesday with four series orders from its sister studio.  —  The Hollywood Reporter will update …
Nikki Finke / Deadline.com:
Alex Pettyfer To Co-Star With Channing Tatum In Steven Soderbergh's Male Stripper Pic  —  EXCLUSIVE: This is going to gobsmack almost everyone in Hollywood.  Not only did Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh just choose 21-year-old newcomer Alex Pettyfer for this juicy role in Magic Mike.
RELATED:
Alan Duke / CNN:
Scammer calls social worker on Mariah Carey, husband says  —  Los Angeles (CNN) — New mother Mariah Carey got a hospital visit from a social worker this week, according to her husband, after someone complained that Carey was abusing her newborn twins by consuming alcohol and drugs while breastfeeding.
RELATED:
Kiki Von Glinow / PopEater:
Nick Cannon Surprises Mariah Carey With New Mom Bling
Discussion: omg! and People.com
TMZ.com:
Matthew Perry — I'm ‘Going Away’ to Focus On Sobriety  —  Matthew Perry tells TMZ he's making plans to “go away for a month to focus on [his] sobriety” ... as a proactive measure in his battle with substance abuse.  —  The “Friends” star issued a statement to TMZ ... saying …
RELATED:
People.com:
Matthew Perry Returning to Rehab to Continue Recovery  —  Matthew Perry, who has struggled with prescription pills and alcohol in the past, is going back to a treatment facility as part of his ongoing recovery.  —  The Friends star, 41, confirms the move in a statement that ends with a Chandler Bing-style dry quip.
PopEater:
Lady Gaga Ends Her Long Romance With Luc Carl  —  Lady Gaga has split from her 30-year-old heavy-metal drummer boyfriend Luc Carl.  According to the Toronto Sun, in an interview that airs today (May 13), Gaga told Britain's the ‘Graham Norton Show,’ “No, I don't have a boyfriend and haven't been on any dates recently.”
Kaiser / Cele|bitchy:
Scarlett Johansson is “determined” to have Sean Penn's baby  —  The last we heard from Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson, they were grinding on each other at the White House Correspondents' Dinner a few weeks ago.  Because they're classy and deep, that's why.
Jo Piazza / Fox News:
Lindsay Lohan vs. Gravity: Is Actress Jeopardizing Comeback With Bra-Free Lifestyle?  —  Lindsay Lohan may be making inroads to repair her broken brand, but even if she can stage a comeback with her upcoming Gotti movie project, more damage control could await the young starlet.
Discussion: Socialite Life
RADAR:
Lindsay Lohan Hires New Publicist To Rehab Image  —  Lindsay Lohan has hired a new publicist in an attempt to rehab her image.  —  The troubled starlet has hired Hollywood mega publicist Steve Honig of The Honig Company.  Honig is revered for his professionalism and handling of his clients …
RELATED:
Sharon Waxman / The Wrap:
Levinson: Lohan Probably Out of ‘Gotti’ Project, Producer Refutes (Updated)
TMZ.com:
White House Contacts Bieber — Can You Help Us Out?  —  Turns out Obama has some pull after all ... because TMZ has learned Justin Bieber has AGREED to help the President come through on a promise he made to a teenage girl last week.  —  Sources connected to the most powerful man on the planet …
Celebslam:
Jessica Alba in Cabo . . . and the morning links  —  Jessica Alba in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (5/12)  —  + More of pregnant Jessica Alba is in a bikini.  Damn.  [Drunken Stepfather]  —  + Joanna Krupa is still gorgeous [Hollywood Tuna]  —  + Leo DiCaprio is banging this now [The Superficial]
Jennifer Still / Digital Spy:
Latest ‘American Idol’ result revealed  —  Warning: This article contains spoilers that some readers may prefer to avoid.  Please click here if you wish to continue.  —  James Durbin has become the tenth contestant to be eliminated from season ten of American Idol.
Discussion: X17 Online and PopEater
Elise / INF Daily:
Khloe Kardashian Rocks The Camel Toe In Times Square!  —  Try as they might, the government of NYC will never really be able to class up Times Square when you have the likes of Khloe Kardashian running around in a denim jumpsuit with camel toe.  What on earth is she thinking?
Elsa Keslassy / Variety:
Morel goes into ‘Overdrive’  —  Helmer leaps into production of action-thriller  —  Exclusive— Helmer Pierre Morel ("Taken") is leaping into production with “Overdrive,” a high-voltage English-lingo action thriller.  —  British thesps Alex Pettyfer ("I am Number Four") and Matthew Goode …
Discussion: Hollywood.com
Us Weekly:
Colin Farrell: I'm Surprisingly Monogamous  —  Despite his playboy reputation, Colin Farrell is a one-woman kind of guy.  —  During a Friday appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the 34-year-old Horrible Bosses actor says he's single — and he's not exactly on the prowl, either.
Nicki Gostin / PopEater:
Will Ferrell at a Loss About ‘Anchorman 2’ Delay: 'I Don't Understand'  —  ‘Everything Must Go,’ opening in limited release today tells the story of Nick Halsey, a man struggling with a drinking problem who in the same day gets fired and comes home to discover his wife has left and dumped all his possessions on the front yard.
Discussion: The Moviefone Blog
 
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 More News: 
Steve Zeitchik / 24 Frames:
Cannes 2011: ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’ is triumphant return for a festival stalwart
Discussion: The FABlife and Pop2it
Mike Fleming / Deadline.com:
Cannes: Weinstein Company Acquires Rights To ‘The Iron Lady,’ With Meryl Streep As Margaret Thatcher
Mike Fleming / Deadline.com:
Cannes: Megan Ellison Wins ‘Terminator’ Rights Auction
Scott Roxborough / Hollywood Reporter:
Martin Scorsese, Lars von Trier Team Up For ‘The Five Obstructions’ Remake (Cannes)
Miriam Lacey / BellaSugar:
360 Degrees of Diane Kruger's Coolest Plait Yet
Discussion: PopSugar
Natalie Finn / E! Online:
Shania Twain Might Never Sing Again?!
Discussion: PopEater and Allie is Wired
Jo Piazza / PopEater:
Lindsay Lohan Still Peeved With Paris Hilton
Photo Boy / The Superficial:
Jennifer Aniston Deepthroating a Banana in Lingerie
 Earlier Picks: 
TMZ.com:
‘Jersey Shore’ Girls — Arrivederci, America!
omg!:
Blonder is the new blonde!  —  Just a few weeks after Emma …
Us Weekly:
EXCLUSIVE: Real World's Dustin Zito: No Regrets About Gay Porn Past
 

 
From Mediagazer:

Matthew Keys / The Desk:
DirecTV terminates its Dish acquisition after a group of Dish creditors rejected a modified bond exchange offer

Ashley Carman / Bloomberg:
A growing number of podcasters, including Tim Ferriss, are moving away from interviews to monologues or co-hosts, as some well-known guests can be overexposed

Jonathan Stempel / Reuters:
A New York judge finds Sirius XM liable for a difficult subscription cancellation process; Sirius says it will appeal but abide by a new “click-to-cancel” rule

 
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