Charlie Sheen: Ashton's Going Down With the Ship  —  Charlie Sheen delivered the ultimate back-handed compliment to Ashton Kutcher, telling TMZ he's talented but the show will tank.  —  Charlie tells TMZ, “Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!!”

Emergency at ‘Dancing with the Stars’  —  “Dancing with the Stars” pro Kym Johnson was injured during rehearsals with her partner, Hines Ward.  —  An eyewitness tells “Extra” the dancing duo fell while practicing.  L.A. Fire Department confirmed to “Extra” that they dispatched a rescue ambulance to the “DWTS” rehearsal studios.

Lady Gaga Ends Her Long Romance With Luc Carl  —  Lady Gaga has split from her 30-year-old heavy-metal drummer boyfriend Luc Carl.  According to the Toronto Sun, in an interview that airs today (May 13), Gaga told Britain's the ‘Graham Norton Show,’ “No, I don't have a boyfriend and haven't been on any dates recently.”

Baby due for Mike & Kelly  —  “Austin Powers” funnyman Mike Myers is to become a dad for the first time at age 47.  His new wife, Kelly Tisdale, is expecting and in her second trimester, Page Six has learned.  Tisdale, a co-founder of Lower East Side hipster cafe Teany …

Scammer calls social worker on Mariah Carey, husband says  —  Los Angeles (CNN) — New mother Mariah Carey got a hospital visit from a social worker this week, according to her husband, after someone complained that Carey was abusing her newborn twins by consuming alcohol and drugs while breastfeeding.

Khloe Kardashian Rocks The Camel Toe In Times Square!  —  Try as they might, the government of NYC will never really be able to class up Times Square when you have the likes of Khloe Kardashian running around in a denim jumpsuit with camel toe.  What on earth is she thinking?

NBC rejects ‘Wonder Woman’  —  Well that was fun (to make fun of) while it lasted.  EW has learned that NBC passed on the much buzzed-about Wonder Woman pilot from David E. Kelley and Warner Bros. TV.  —  Kelley had penned a script that updated the comic book classic to have Diana Prince …

Oxygen Network BANS ‘Bad Girls Club’ Star  —  Former “Bad Girls Club” star Christina Hopkins has been BANNED from appearing on the Oxygen network EVER AGAIN following her vile, racist rant ... TMZ has confirmed.  —  A rep for Oxygen tells us, “Oxygen condemns those comments... she will never appear on Oxygen again.”

EXCLUSIVE: Kings of Leon's Caleb Followill Weds Model Lily Aldridge!  —  And the bride wore...Vera Wang!  —  Victoria's Secret supermodel Lily Aldridge was a vision in white when she tied the knot with Kings of Leon rocker Caleb Followill in Santa Barbara, Calif. on Thursday night, a source tells Us Weekly exclusively.

‘Brothers & Sisters’ Canceled, As Is ‘V’  —  UPDATE: It's official, there will be no sixth season of ABC's family drama Brothers and Sisters.  And V won't return for a third season either.  ABC just made the calls.  PREVIOUS: Barring any last-minute miracle, it looks like this is the end …

NBC Picks Up Comedies Parham/St. Clair, ‘Bent’, Chelsea Handler, ‘Free Agents’, Passes On More Pilots  —  UPDATE: I hear NBC just picked up two more comedy pilots: romantic comedy Bent, starring Amanda Peet and David Walton, which I hear will probably be for midseason, and the untitled Parham/St. Clair project, now called BFFs.

Jenna Fischer Is Pregnant!  —  Jenna Fischer already has practice playing pregnant — now she's ready for the real thing!  —  A rep for the Office star, whose character Pam gave birth last year, tells Us Weekly she and her screenwriter hubby of nearly a year Lee Kirk are expecting their first child together.

Jessica Alba in Another Bikini  —  Because they won't allow anyone out of the drunk tank before 9 AM in this town, I'm here to bring you more of Jessica Alba's pregnant boobs.  I know its appalling that Fish would make you wait to get another glimpse at Mother Nature's blessing …

White House Contacts Bieber — Can You Help Us Out?  —  Turns out Obama has some pull after all ... because TMZ has learned Justin Bieber has AGREED to help the President come through on a promise he made to a teenage girl last week.  —  Sources connected to the most powerful man on the planet …

Lindsay Lohan vs. Gravity: Is Actress Jeopardizing Comeback With Bra-Free Lifestyle?  —  Lindsay Lohan may be making inroads to repair her broken brand, but even if she can stage a comeback with her upcoming Gotti movie project, more damage control could await the young starlet.

EXCLUSIVE: Sarah Michelle Gellar's ‘Ringer’ To Get Picked Up By CW, Disney Pulls Out  —  UPDATE: I hear ABC Studios, which co-produced the pilot for Ringer with CBS Studios, is pulling out from, citing that it cannot produce a series for the economics of CW.

Britney Spears ‘Mentally Incapable’ of Testifying in Court  —  And welcome to the exact moment she realized this wasn't a McDonald's and was tricked into dressin' all fancy again.  —  Remember Sam Lutfi, Britney Spears former “manager” who consistently drugged her when he wasn't threatening to piss on the graves of his enemies?

Colin Farrell: I'm Surprisingly Monogamous  —  Despite his playboy reputation, Colin Farrell is a one-woman kind of guy.  —  During a Friday appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the 34-year-old Horrible Bosses actor says he's single — and he's not exactly on the prowl, either.

Beautiful Women Falling Down: A Short Film  —  In honor of Bridesmaids, an ode to the clichés of romantic comedies. … — Tad Friend in The New Yorker, April 11, 2011

Scarlett Johansson is “determined” to have Sean Penn's baby  —  The last we heard from Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson, they were grinding on each other at the White House Correspondents' Dinner a few weeks ago.  Because they're classy and deep, that's why.